Diane Becker, "Country Life"

Stepping into a shower stall in our house is a lot like stepping into a jungle. I have not ever actually been in a jungle but have walked through 8-foot-tall cornfields midsummer, so I have a good idea.

Just as it must be like stepping carefully through the tangle of jungle undergrowth, a person has to step into our shower with the route encumbered by various showering products.

It seems that a person needs the following specialty items to take a shower in 2019: Hair moisturizing shampoos and conditioners, smoothing body washes, disinfecting face washes, in-shower body lotion, exfoliating shaving lotion, and other foot smoothing gels and lip softening oils.

It’s a wonder we have a place to stand while we shower.

What makes it all more confusing is the baffling selection of different scents of each item to choose from.

When I take a shower I can use the papaya/lemongrass/vanilla scented item, or the “heavenly ocean bliss coconut,” or the many other magically scented products.

Heaven forbid I grab the more manly “sport” or “cedar spice” scented products that would put off a masculine scent all day.

I don’t have my reading glasses on in the shower, so I’ve probably made the mistake of washing my hair with cherry blossom shaving gel and using the manly sandalwood body wash for conditioner.

It’s all right as long as I use the right scrubbing tool at the time.

Of course, you need to use the proper shower utensils when taking a shower, so there’s a variety of net loofahs also in our showers.

The real loofah made from a plant has been replaced by a cheap bunch of netting tied up into a ball with a string attached to it.

I always thought a common wash cloth would do the trick. They don’t work at all. If you don’t like net loofahs, though, you can always purchase the popular flower petaled sponge.

I have to be careful when I’m getting a lavender scented something (it’s purple so it can’t be masculine scented) so I don’t knock off the shower caddy slung onto the shower head.

Knocking it sideways may loosen the suction-cupped razor holder that’s stuck precariously to the shower wall. Something’s always clattering to the floor when I take a shower.

We must be a shower obsessed culture. I hear of people taking two or more showers a day.

Can we really be getting that dirty in the course of being awake for 14 hours? Are we in the bottom of a well slinging mud out of buckets and must scrape the sludge off our bodies?

Our pioneer forefathers looked forward to their weekly slosh in the washtub using lye soap as their only cleaning aid.

I suppose we aren’t going back to those days. Stepping into the jungle of a shower at our house is going to continue to be an adventure in product selection and safety.

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