Crystal Von Kampen served in the U.S. Navy for eight years, nine months and 21 days.
She has a combat-related disability she doesn’t like to talk about, but she does have the support of her friends, family and wife, Carla Morris-Von Kampen.
What Crystal does not have, she said, are the same benefits as other United States military veterans.
Crystal and Carla were married in Council Bluffs, Iowa, on Nov. 1, 2013 — a state where their same-sex marriage is recognized and legal.
Nebraska, however, does not recognize same-sex marriages, so the couple has been denied certain benefits through the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, Crystal said.
“We applied for a VA loan together as a couple, and they denied it like three days before we were supposed to close on our house. The reasoning was the state of Nebraska doesn't recognize our marriage. The Veterans Affairs does, but the Veterans Affairs office wouldn’t give us the loan because they’re following state guidelines,” she said.
The VA home loan rejection came as a big setback for the two women, who were put in a “financial hole” because they had to come up with extra money to make a down payment on their home, Crystal said.
“No one’s going to give us back that money, and I’m not asking for that. I just wanted it to be equal and fair across the board because I had previously purchased a house and was able to use my VA home loan. But now I can’t because I’m married in a same sex-relationship,” Crystal said.
Military benefits are a big part of the reason Crystal and Carla represent one of seven Nebraska couples listed as plaintiffs in a recent lawsuit filed by the ACLU Nebraska and Omaha attorneys Susan Ann Koenig and Angela Dunne. The suit challenges the constitutionality of Nebraska’s ban on same-sex marriages — a measure approved in a statewide election.
Because Crystal is a disabled vet, any of her children or stepchildren should be able to get a college tuition waiver in the state of Nebraska, she said. However, that is another military benefit she is not able to take advantage of due to being in a same-sex marriage.
“It would mean that (my stepdaughter) could go to a college on the list, like Wayne State or UNL, and they would waive her tuition. So we went in front of the board in Lincoln on an appeals process, and we were denied because Nebraska doesn’t recognize her as my stepdaughter because they don’t recognize our marriage,” Crystal said.
Crystal said her stepdaughter carries an identification card issued by the U.S. Department of Defense which allows her to go on bases and use military facilities.
“The DOD recognizes her (as my stepdaughter). ... Interestingly enough, she can use the Chapter 35 GI Bill. She gets that, but she can’t use a tuition waiver from the state,” Crystal said.
“Any federal program that does not have to meet state regulations I think recognizes it,” Carla added.
Additionally, Crystal said that because she is a married veteran with a disability, she should be getting a bit of extra money each month in her VA disability payments. However, that benefit also isn’t available to her in Nebraska, she said.
“It’s hard for me, because they’re like, ‘Here’s your free car wash on Veterans Day and your free meal,’ but then they find out this little part of me, then it becomes null and void. ... And it’s hard. It makes it difficult, because they want to shake your hand one minute and say thank you, and then the next minute, they want to say no thank you or say nothing at all. And then, well, you can’t have your benefits,” Crystal said.
So why do the women live in a state which doesn’t recognize their marriage?
“This is my home. This is my state. Why should I have to leave? I shouldn’t. I didn’t do anything wrong, and I love this place. I’ve lived in California, where it’s fun in the sun 24/7, and I took this over living there. Why? Because if I wanted a family, I could raise it here without worry and the insanity of what can happen in other places. I joined the Navy, saw some stuff, and this is where I want to come back to,” Crystal said.
“Our families are here. I’ve lived in Nebraska my entire life. Nebraska’s my home. I raised my kids here, I received my education here. I owned a business here. I have a career here. I work in the community. Why would I uproot my entire life because a few people feel like my sexual orientation threatens their way of life?” Carla said.
