Lee Hulm

Lee Hulm

Once upon a time ... no, wait, this isn’t a fairy tale.

If it were, there would likely be a moral to the story — a value of some measure to be derived from its telling — as is the case with The Fox and the Cat, Beauty and the Beast, Puss in Boots, Romeo and Juliet, The Frog and the Condor, or Little Red Riding Hood, all of which are credited for conveying small bits of wisdom designed to leave a lasting impression, usually for children.

No, for captivating entertainment this one doesn’t have a Tweety or a Sylvester or a Foghorn Leghorn or a Wiley E. Coyote or a Tinker Bell or a Mr. Magoo (real cartoon characters that have captured the attention of adults and youngsters alike for decades) — not even a bespectacled, shotgun-toting Elmer Fudd whose relentless campaign to get rid of that “wascally wabbit” remains in play on re-run television to this day ...

Which, if you’ll forgive an analogy that lacks comparable seriousness, is mindful of the unceasing effort by the inimitable inflated puff adder, Adam Schiff, to take down the President — except that this disreputable tale was acted out in the United States Senate rather than on a “toon” channel or two where it would have been more appropriately placed.

Consider, if the U. S. Senate is indeed “the world’s greatest deliberative body” as Chief Justice Roberts scolded, how did it come to pass that a political circus three-plus years in the making ended up there?

Yes, everyone understands that the Ringling Bros. Barnum and Bailey “Big Top” is no longer available (as of 2017), but clown shows still have multiple venue options nevertheless, albeit on a less cheeky or snobbish or pretentious scale.

Pardon me, but the impeachment spectacle was not so much a “governmental exercise” as it was a farcical imposition on the public’s time. We all had better things to do. The charges were bogus as to be worthy of scornful laughter. Hours senselessly wasted by congressional bureaucrats whose “Sleeping Beauty” posture testified to the boring hogwash? They should be embarrassed for sitting through it. I’m embarrassed for them!

Given overblown egos aplenty and the consequential buffoonish huffing and puffing that both the setting and the TV cameras encouraged, my sense is that any fairy tale aficionados tuned in to the proceedings couldn’t have avoided being reminded of the dire life-threatening circumstances imposed on the Three Little Pigs by the blustering Big Bad Wolf aiming to blow their house down. (OK, OK, that wasn’t necessary, but isn’t it fun?)

Let’s do one more. Substitute Nancy Pelosi for Old Mother Hubbard and envision the house speaker going to her cupboard for a bone to throw to her base. When she gets there the cupboard is bare, so she has none. Oh dear, oh dear, what does she do?

Why, she manufactures one, of course, and tosses it to the howling mob (of which the national mainstream media is a part) to chew on adnauseam. (That really isn’t a joke, is it?)

Just one more thing! If all the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty back together again (after his fall off the wall), what chance do we mere mortals have of ever repairing all of the damage that this illegitimate impeachment crap has done to the country?

No fairy tale, this national nightmare hasn’t a single redeeming quality!

In other news

In the pantheon of great lines suitable for induction into Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations is Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s 2010 comment about Obamacare: “We have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it.”

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Every few years I write a column about the United States Postal Service. In 2009 I just about wrote it off. That year the Postal Service faced a $7 billion revenue shortfall, and 700 post offices were slated for closure.

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When the 1956 Major League Baseball season began, the New York Yankees were in the unfamiliar position of not being the defending world champion. The previous October, the Brooklyn Dodgers dethroned the Yankees, and ended the Bronx Bombers’ unprecedented streak of five consecutive World Seri…

The disease experts and the panic-pushing media initially scared the pants off California’s 40 million people with their predictions about the death toll of the coronavirus pandemic.